“with enough bald patches, I don’t intend to pluck more of what’s left”

So, it starts this way-

” Be clear with what you have to do”

” Have an aim in life”

“DO not question while in lectures, you are supposed to come prepared (even if its an alien topic to you),or read afterwards”

“Do not waste time”\

“Be steady with your idea and present it well”

“Do not approach any pundits regarding your interests”

“Don’t even pass by her room!”

Phew! a confused mixture of thoughts, plus, they talk about Higher purpose and Higher consciousness.

There are a mixture of people with varying thoughts and throwing away their ideas at newbs. Instilling in them a sense of fear, evoking a sense of anxiety, aggravating existing confusion and helplessness.

A world of hypocrites, who never do what they preach, pulling others or the “newbs” into that whirlpool.

To know everything is not expected of anyone, to be a perfect human being is far from being achieved. When everyone’s looking for an embrace, a calm, satisfactory word — there is this whirlpool, traumatizing the very essence of existence.

The supposition to follow the path that you have chosen and never to deviate to a new subject creates an internal web, more so the frog in the well attitude. That is, to tread outside the web is dangerous and there is no world as such, other than the well, because the well is the whole world!

Like a bunch of jute sacks, there are options placed before the newbies, needless to say, one has to be chosen, if not what lies ahead is nothing but doom. When the glance goes above, to the unlimited vastness of sky, there is hope, there is peace; but, back to glancing around, there is Mood swings, hypertension followed by symptoms of anxiety, depression and all those new words which was never heard in general public before- atleast here.

Development leading to inevitable side-effects, so more number of cure being found., and parallel still more side-effects.

The quant, talk about Higher purpose and to attain it, career is one path. Oh! all along it was Yoga, Meditation, celibacy and for common people it was to be a bhakt, devotee, of God, at each moment of life. Shh..God Shhh…The word “Sex” creates no stigma around anymore–but “God”– “Hey! You are a scientist and scientists believing God! You really don’t belong here, you’d rather be a priest, a preacher or even better a politician!”–is a word which grabs false attention and weird looks.

“mom, I want to pursue research in Yoga and meditation, that  I can correlate to all that I’ve been reading in Gita and other scriptures”, while mom–“you complete your studies , then think of yoga and stuffs.” period

The world encircled by a cloud of negative energy in so much excess, that, one day, all the positivity will form an attractive sheath around the negative circle, still keeping the Homo sapiens sapiens AI IT BT sapiens– well that’s the present living species evolved from Homo sapiens– far away from the positive sheath.

As the circle gets more compact, there is no more oxygen-life breath left, carbon soots-black carbon soots engulf the world and then there will be TOTAL BLACKOUT. Ultimately, Stephen Hawking’s theory of Black holes comes right way too soon.



darkness prevails


Self-loathing is an art in itself. How much can anyone modulate and create within this art? To the extent, that looking around, within, above, everywhere it’s completely Dark. That darkness which engulfs the Human along with its Entirety, in which prevails Demons that grope at the heart of the Being, piercing through and establishing roots deep within, that the cries for help is left unheard. Then when the Human nears the point of no return, It embraces all that is happening around, dissolves Itself in the only way ahead- giving up light forever, giving up Its thoughts, wishes, dreams, or just the concept of Life.


Running around like a  headless chick.

I wonder what I’m up to.

Is there light at the end of that tunnel, no I guess it’s going to remain dark, hot  humid and suffocating.

How do I get out of it, I find the simplest solution, sleep on it and what do I end up doing?  just sleep and when I wake up I’m still there.

As far as I’ve seen myself I’ve always been this confused and distracted, not a single day have I entered in my journal – clouds are clearing, my thoughts are vivid now. Never.

Relationships, career choices the only two things that’s bothering me and twisting me from within. Almost a quarter of my life is done and I’m still in a phase where everything seems to be hazy.

How far to get to the end of that tunnel.?

I’m going to sleep on that.


time-right time


I believe in the right time. Sometimes somethings just don’t happen if it’s not the right time. Not like the Indian Rahu kaalam and stuff, but time as an entity. It’s not even the mundane time which refers to routine, but time as something beyond conception.

Time and our brain coordinates in a way that,  subconsciously it prepares itself to manifest  its thought only at that moment, when it has to and not at any random occasion. Well, there are such instances as to where our minds drift and serendipitously, we come upon matters unrelated to the situation.

This idea of the right time came to me after a stay at home for a couple of months, with an uninteresting lifestyle and thoughts. The interest in neuroscience came about at a time of chaos. Who knew that this was my subject of interest from past two years. Let it be watching Amy Farrah Fowler from The Big Bang Theory, or my Job at a research institute involving Alzheimer’s disease project, or even the regular updates on Mindful Meditation, who knew it exists within me.

So to pursue this subject is my current prospect.


Walking Cross-Town. With a Tin Cup.

this adds to up my inspiration for selfless service 🙂

Live & Learn


The moment, seconds really, should have degraded into an inkblot, edges fraying, burrowing to lose itself among the billions of other moments, stored for retrieval at a later date when a similar moment showed up. Aha, I remember that.

But No.

This one Rises, floats on Top, bobbing up and down, making sure it isn’t lost. Remember this, it seems to say. Don’t forget this, it needs to say.

I’m walking Cross-Town on 47th. It’s dark. It’s early, 6:23 am. And, it’s Cold – sub 35° F, with winds gusting. Feels like 26° F. Biting.

I’m wearing a trench coat, knee length, its heavy lining leaning in on my shoulders. It’s zipped to the throat.

The fur lined leather gloves keep the hands and fingers toasty. I grip my case with one, and swing the other, the motion pulling me forward, the pace quick, the blood and bones warming from the movement.

And there…

View original post 738 more words



A seed sown remains inactive in the soil for some good amount of time, before it germinates in the form of radicle and plumule. The seed is INACTIVE as we see, but a number of biochemical activities occur within that seed, which we cannot observe. It might as well look dead to us.

Finding myself to be in a similar position, being jobless and half-interested in preparing for scheduled exams. Simple what my peers think about me, is I have a comfort-zone at home, which I never want to leave and a heavily laid back attitude, lack of smartness. Their breathing heavily down on my neck to be responsible, to do something worthwhile, takes a toll on me. While I’m trying to figure out things, this pressure just makes me chaotic.

So, on a positive note, I consider this to be a stimulus for my growth.

Right now I’m dormant. I’m aware of what’s going on in my mind.


First blog post

The world around can be explained only by our perspective. We see the Sun rise and set, so it rises and sets, also, we see it, because it’s there. These little complexities are never addressed, at least not by mundane means.

A deeper sense of our understanding, I want to reveal it to myself by writing.